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Caduceus Cross Forms Medical Board

Caduceus Cross Forms Medical Board

Dr. Hope Pisces and Dr. Elylida Beaumonte have formed a new medical board named Caduceus Cross. They aim to help spread medical knowledge throughout New Alexandria, focusing on sharing information over gaining employees for themselves. Even those who don't aim to become doctors themselves are welcome, as they just want to teach people how to keep others alive in case of an emergency. If you've got medical experience or want to be trained in the science of medicine, go see one of the Caduceus Cross board members to join their program!

Chief Justice Announces Retirement After Term

In an exclusive interview with Weevil News, Chief Justice James Tully has announced his intention to retire when his current term ends on September 1st of this year. When the two newest judges were elected recently, he informed the state representatives of his impending retirement. An official state announcement from the Governor is expected near the end of the month, with a specific date for his final day in office to be determined at that time.

As a lonely lawyer from New Austin, James Tully got the call to come up to the state judiciary as a judge. Willing to give it a try, he did the best he could with what he had in the fledgling days of our criminal justice system. His greatest achievement, the Chief Justice says, is taking a piece of paper with written laws and words and turning it into a form where everyone is treated equally, from the lowliest of persons working in the swamps with little to their name to the folks with fancy hats and more money than they know what to do with. Knowing that there are as many who curse his name in back alleys and out across the plains as those who'd like to see him stay on longer as Chief Justice, he hopes that he has helped all those he's encountered in his service to grow as much as they have helped him grow as a person and as a judge. He thanks everyone from the depths of his soul for that opportunity, truly.

Judge Tully feels honored to have helped establish a system where everyone could feel like equals before the law and to walk away with a solid footing for the judiciary to continue serving the people. He's very encouraged by the competence of his fellow judges, and was proud of the judges and state representatives he's worked with in his time as Chief Justice. Serving as a judge wasn't without its challenges, however. With over SEVEN THOUSAND residents throughout the state, there were many people who needed help and very few judges to help them. With only two judges actively serving, the need for their services may become overwhelming, though Justice Tully noted he's hopeful a third judge will be elected soon. He's encouraged the government to continue hiring to meet the needs of the people, so we can only hope that his advice and experience is heeded swiftly.

Looking forward to the future, James Tully sees himself moving on to better things. While he may get back into law practice at some point, he says other possibilities have been floated. Though he originally thought of it as a joke, a conversation with the President yielded the possibility of an ambassadorship, something he would strongly consider should it become a reality. In the meantime, however, he's excited about taking a nice long vacation to the island of Guarma. Having heard a lot about it during his term, he never had the opportunity to visit due to his commitments as Chief Justice and various personal matters occupying his time. He's spoken with Governor Devine and Attorney General Jefferson about taking a trip down there together, and Weevil News wishes Mr. Tully a relaxing time away from the state.

While judges are of course apolitical by nature of their work, Chief Justice Tully had some advice to share with the newly-elected Governor and State Representatives as they embark on their four-month terms. He suggests that they always keep an open ear and carefully consider all the possible decisions for the benefit of all of the people, not just the best decision for their own futures as politicians. Speaking to his colleagues in the judiciary, the Chief Justice left them with some final words of wisdom:

"Always ensure due diligence. Justice comes with a scale, not with a gun. Weigh everything, sometimes the evidence may not be what you think. Take a firm hand, but at the same time have an open ear."

Wise words from a wise man, indeed.

Editorial - Henry Clerk Writes To State Deputies

I have a question to pose to the people of New Alexandria. When you see a white hat walking towards you from down the street, what do you feel? What do you think? Are you happy to see a Deputy? Perhaps not. Perhaps you are bracing yourself for a scolding about this or that ordinance. Perhaps you see a parade of white hats, and are anticipating yet another pompous show of stature from our soon-to-be former Governor Devine, whose greatest achievement in office will be making it three feet out the door before stopping to catch his breath. Perhaps you are lucky to even see a Deputy at all. Perhaps, like me, you spend your days harassed and harangued by Outlaws and ne’er-do-wells who are free to rob and murder as they please, so long as they remove their long arms whilst in Strawberry and pet the dog in Rhodes.

I ask you this, my fellow citizens, not to besmirch the good names of honorable, stalwart deputies. I ask you this because for far too long I have experienced and witnessed that despite there being many honorable, stalwart deputies within our Sheriff’s Departments, the House in which they reside has been built with rotting, molded wood. I am writing this “editorial” of sorts to call upon my fellow citizens, my fellow Representatives, and those good, honorable deputies to speak loudly and clearly about the systemic flaws within the Sheriff’s Departments.

Yesterday as of the writing of this letter, I was visiting St. Denis with my very good friends in order to celebrate. We made merry, and all was well. As part of this merriment, we had all decided to dress fancifully, and some of us were wearing costumes and masks. Whilst we were enjoying some games in the Theatre, no less than four deputies approached our group and harassed us with regard to the masks we were wearing. I was not wearing my mask, and so I approached and explained the situation to them. To their credit, they accepted my explanation and we parted ways.

A short time later, while making our way to the Bastille for drinks, we were again harassed, this time by people on horseback wielding shotguns. Imagine my surprise, dear readers, when in the course of these events not a single white hat could be seen. My life, that of a State Representative-Elect, as well as the lives of my close and dear friends was put in grave danger and when we needed help the most, none could be found. I will note for the record that those individuals that accosted us were wearing bandanas to cover their face, which I assume must not be covered in the ordinance that dictates party-goers remove their masks.

If this was the first and only instance of justice in this state failing on almost every conceivable level, I would not have written this letter. I am not a confrontational man, but I was elected to speak on the behalf of the people of New Alexandria and that is exactly what I intend to do. If the bluntness of my remarks causes offense, perhaps then the issue is not with my remarks. Those who know me, or know of me, have heard that I spend my days in the beautiful town of Blackwater. I have met many friends there. I have provided aid and comfort to everyone who comes through the doors of the Saloon. I have also seen good people driven from a good place because Outlaws, Murderers, and Thieves see easy prey. There is more snow on the ground in Blackwater than there are deputies. Is it a surprise to anyone then, that absent the help of any lawful officer, citizens of this State have taken justice into their own hands on occasion?

Change is hard, my friends. Change is also needed desperately in this case. I refuse to feel unsafe in my own home. I refuse to wonder who will rob or shoot me if I walk down the street alone. I refuse to allow a system which profits from, as Governor Devine put it recently “Obtaining Guilty verdicts”, to flourish. I was not elected to defend or represent such a system. I was elected to defend and represent the people that system has abandoned. A badge on your chest is not a right to enforce the law selectively or to harass good and honest folk. A badge on your chest is a promise to protect and defend the people and to uphold the law in all instances. In closing, my message to anyone who wears a badge and a white hat in order to spend their days collecting bail money and swinging their weight around while ignoring the cries of the people they have sworn to protect is quite simple: Quit.

Best Regards,

H. Clerk

Guarma Invitational Concludes NAHRA Season

The start called out across the plantation fields, and the thunder of hooves rolled through the sugarcane. Eight and a half grueling laps later, the champion of champions was finally crowned. Saturday night's Guarma Invitational capped off the first season of the New Alexandria Horse Racing Association by bringing their best riders together to compete for the grandest prize in racing; the opportunity to be declared the best of the best!

The night's lineup featured a who's who of the racing scene, including three-time winner Deputy Gabriel Sheperd and NAHRA Vice President Thatcher Ford, twice a winner himself. In fact, other than Ryan Hastings, who was invited as the association's most consistent competitor, every rider at the Invitational was a former champion, having won a race during the regular season. With such a stalwart cast of competitors, there was no doubt in any spectator's mind that this would be a race for the ages!

A long race, this track had qualifying times upwards of FORTY SECONDS, giving racers plenty of time to make moves in each lap. Starting on the downhill through the sugarcane, Thatcher Ford had the poll position atop his thundering nokota Blue. Patrick Cox sat on Duke next to him, with Deputy Shepard and the stallion Godspeed just behind them on the inside. Michael McGrath and Sabor took the outside lane in fourth, with Dr. Jaena Shaw in fifth riding the borrowed Baron Von Beefcake, due to Little Brother's season being cut short at the Flat Iron Lake 500. The final two competitors, Kojak Morozov (Akurra) and Ryan Hastings (Moxxi) took up the rear to round out the field.

As they raced out of the gate, Mr. Ford took an early lead with Mr. McGrath sweeping around the outside to chase him through the zigzag of the first turn. As they came around the houses at the edge of the village in the second turn, Mr. Cox was hotly contesting second place with Deputy Sheperd battling Mr. Morozov for fourth. Coming around the plantation house, however, Blue had built a quarter lap lead, commanding the pace ahead of the pack. Mr. Ford carefully built that lead over the next four laps, though the distant battle for second raged fiercely between McGrath, Cox, and Sheperd.

As Thatcher entered the fifth lap, onlookers could see that Blue was tired. He eased up on the pace around the back of the plantation house, trying to give his steed a chance to rest. This strategy was a calculated risk, as the rest of the pack started to eat away at his large lead. While the frontrunners closed in, the back of the pack stretched far behind, with Ryan Hastings riding a few lengths ahead of the struggling Baron Von Beefcake as Ford passed them both entering the seventh lap.

By this time, however, his lead was down to five or six lengths, with Patrick Cox having solidly taken second and the muscling for third down to Deputy Sheperd and Mr. McGrath. The final lap was perhaps the most exciting of the entire race, as Duke surged after Blue coming down the back stretch. Entering the zigzag turn, Mr. Ford had seen his lead eaten away to just a few lengths, and he could hear Mr. Cox thundering down on him from behind. Cutting through the turn deftly, however, he urged his faithful mount to a new burst of speed, desperately widening the gap as he tried to hold on.

As the dust cleared away from the final turn, spectators struggled to make out who had managed to come around in first. With sunlight streaking through the cloud to clear the sight, NAHRA President Eddie Collins called the race for the season champion, Thatcher Ford! Though the final battle was hard-fought, Patrick Cox was unable to close the gap and took second in a very solid performance. Michael McGrath emerged victorious in his seesaw struggle with Deputy Sheperd to take third, with the latter seizing fourth by a few lengths. Kojak Morozov was quite alone in fifth, and a shocking tumble on the blind side of the track threw Ryan Hastings from his saddle in the final lap to give Dr. Jaena Shaw sixth place.

Speaking with the season champion about becoming the second rider to reach three wins, Mr. Ford claimed that he should have had four in total, having "let" Deputy Sheperd win a previous race at Caliga Hall. While he stressed his dedication to fine-tuning starts, finishes, and all other aspects of his racing strategy, our winner gave all credit to his incredible horse Blue. Knowing that the nokota breed has poor stamina, he focused on pacing himself when Blue seemed out of breath. While his gamble nearly backfired, he was able to save some energy for the final turn and emerge victorious.

While Mr. Ford always cuts a striking figure atop a horse, spectators took note of his fancy new goggles, debuted for this race. Calling them "Air Georgias", he said the patent-pending prototype "showed me the road to victory", giving him better vision of the track as he zeroed in on his path. In particular, he noted that the zigzag turn required precision turns to cut the right angles, something he felt gave trouble to the other riders. The track overall was built for speed, and Mr. Ford named it his second favorite track ever, after Braithwaite.

Speaking with Mr. Ford and Mr. Collins about the future, we learned that the next season would feature new tracks and a clean slate to qualify for the invitational. Mr. Ford plans to sit out most of the season, having earned a bid in the next Guarma Invitational with his victory on the day. With his duties running half of the New Alexandria Horse Racing Association, he prefers to only jump into a race once in a while, particularly when they need a deeper field than they have present. He looks forward to challenging the best of the best at the next invitational and welcomes all competitors to give it their best shot.

Wasting no time, NAHRA is kicking off their next season right away. Join them Wednesday for the Thadius LeBlanc Memorial at Braithwaite Manor. A dear friend and competitor, this was his favorite track, one where always performed well, even coming away with a win. Stop by at 10 pm EST to pay respects to a stalwart of the racing scene, it's sure to be a fantastic event in his memory.

Always the innovators, Saturday will see NAHRA introduce a brand new track at a brand new time. They're unveiling the Blackwater track at 4 pm EST, bringing new blood into the racing scene by scheduling some earlier events in the new season. This change will surely increase the tough competition, bringing the grand racing spectacle to even greater heights in the coming weeks!

Henry Clerk Confirms Blackwater Ball

Sources have indicated to Weevil News plans to host the grandest event West Elizabeth has ever seen. Dubbed the Blackwater Ball, this appears to be the brainchild of newly elected Representative-Elect Henry Clerk. We were recently able to speak with the man himself to confirm these plans. He's working to finalize details of this venture as part of his larger efforts to get people down to Blackwater and engage in the local community.

The ball appears to be centered around the Black Dog Saloon, where there will be drinking, dancing, and blackjack throughout the night. This will be part of a larger series of regular events held at the saloon, twice a week on Fridays and either Mondays or Wednesdays. However, this night in particular will have even more pleasantries in store. Our sources gave light to the possibility of boat rides and even fireworks, making this truly a night with wonders in store.

While the Blackwater Ball does not yet have a confirmed time and date, expectations are that it may occur in mid to late September. That is not the only event in the works, we learned from Representative-Elect Clerk. New Alexandrians can expect a special celebration of his historic and decisive victory to be announced soon. It will surely be an opportunity to celebrate the community that came together and lifted him to new heights as their legislator!

LFC Hiring For Missionary And Backdoor Positions

LFC Hiring For Missionary And Backdoor Positions

As the chicken empire continues to grow, so does the girth of its customers. Mr. Sanders' delicious food stands prominently among the desires of Valentine patrons, and now he desires new partners in this explosive venture. The Lemoyne Fried Chicken Company has need of new workers to handle the growing need for their products in New Alexandria.

They're looking for hard workers to fill the Missionary position with vigor. While some see it as basic work, it is the bread and butter of their business. A good Missionary knows to push firmly, but not too hard, in order to keep customers desiring without turning them away from the experience. These workers are expected to be skilled in identifying the desires of their customers, be it round, juicy breasts, plump bottoms, or thick thighs. No matter the preference, a Missionary must explore every option to keep people satisfied.

Conversely, the Backdoor position requires an altogether different sort of person. On several occasions, Mr. Sanders has caught his chicken distributors trying to undercut the quality of his meats by sneaking a cock in the back door, and he's had enough. He needs vigilant employees working in the back to ensure only the finest meats are allowed to enter. He expects them to employ effective protection techniques to secure the company against bleeding profits and unsatisfied customers.

Lemoyne Fried Chicken is happy to embrace the hardest of workers and welcome them into their ever-broadening fold. A firm hand, quick tongue, and strong back will be needed to serve their customers well. Those who think they have the vigor to handle the constant flow of such an intricate business should apply for their favorite position today!

Runoff Victories for Flanagan and Ryder

The ballots have been cast, and the results are in; Addison Flanagan is your new Governor-Elect, New Alexandria. Alongside the fiery Ramona Ryder, these two women claimed a close victory in the runoff elections last weekend. After a hard-fought campaign left voters undecided between four possible candidates across two positions, our state was asked to voice its preference once again to break the ties that had resulted.

For the position of Governor, Addison Flanagan faced off against Winifred Lockheart, who she had bested by a mere NINETEEN votes in the general election while falling shy of the 50% needed to secure victory. In a victory that confirmed the same results, Miss Flanagan yet again secured a nineteen vote advantage in the runoff. This close race underscored how truly divided the people were between two highly respected and qualified candidates.

The shift in the race for State Representative, however, was more profound. Coming from a literal deadlock where both Elylida Beaumonte and Ramona Ryder gained EXACTLY the same number of votes, Miss Ryder managed to command a 60% share of the vote, a clear victory for her campaign platform. The two candidates had campaigned alongside one another and Miss Flanagan in the general election, but voters were forced to choose between them as only one seat remained in the legislature.

These victories solidify the shape of the New Alexandria government for the next four months. Miss Flanagan and Miss Ryder join Mr. Henry Clerk and Miss Ada Lockwood to round out our elected officials for the new term. Weevil News was able to speak with Representative-Elect Clerk this weekend to get his thoughts on the runoff results.

He extended his heartfelt sympathies to Elylida Beaumonte and Winifred Lockheart, two women he considers his very dear friends. While it may feel like they lost, he rightfully pointed out that they both had broad support from voters and that support does not disappear when the election ends. He hopes that they realize this and continue to work for the good of the people in their future endeavors. Mr. Clerk noted that Miss Beaumonte has a bright career and future as a doctor, and he hopes that Miss Winnie finds her purpose, sticks to it, and doesn't get discouraged by this setback.

To his new colleagues in government, Mr. Clerk expressed excitement. As shining and brilliant examples of what a person and a politician should be, he looks very much forward to working with them both. He believes them to be more than ready to handle the tremendous task ahead of this new government, and he cannot wait to get to work on the many matters of import before them. Representative-Elect Clerk extended his thanks to the voters that were patient and consistent throughout this historic and somewhat tumultuous election process. While it wasn't easy for anybody, he believes that getting through these last few weeks speaks volumes to the character of this state and its citizens.

Weevil News could not agree more with the sentiments Mr. Clerk shared with us. New Alexandria was blessed to have more qualified and passionate candidates than they could possibly elect, a problem that we can only wish for in future elections as well. We believe that the four officials representing our fair state will work hard to give voice to the people that elected them, and we hope fervently that they will fight just as hard for the ideals represented by Miss Lockheart and Miss Beaumonte, who enjoy the significant support of the people to this day. We wish our new state officials well as they step into these roles with clear minds and purpose.

Weevil News Hiring Writers and Distributors

Have you felt the calling to bring news to the citizens of New Alexandria? Do you desire to be part of the wave of truth sweeping the state? If so, Weevil News wants you to come on board and join our team! We're searching for talented writers and gifted salespersons to aid us in our mission to be read by all those who seek to stay informed of the events of the state.

Our distributors are responsible for the sale of newspapers throughout the state. Each week, they retrieve a stack of the latest issue from our office in Valentine and spread across the land ensuring its availability to all who thrive on the latest news of the day. A good salesperson can entice the customer with hints of what an issue contains while not revealing the full nature of its contents. A gifted tongue and amicable personality will serve you well in this role, which can often be performed as a supplement to other ongoing work and activities.

Conversely, the role of a writer is as much about the word you think as those you speak. Your job is to convey not just the facts, but the reasonable conclusions to be drawn from them. A good journalist is fair and ethical in their work but does not shy away from the truth insomuch as they are able to confirm it. Our job is not to keep the happiness of all, but rather to do justice to the facts we aim to represent to our readers.

As a writer, your wordsmithing is your primary skill, but your connections to the people are equally as important. For indeed, to have anything worthwhile to write about, you must endeavor to speak with people and hear the stories of their lives. You must forge a network with both individuals of stature and responsibility as well as those who live the noble purpose of daily survival in our fair state. Listen to the words they care to share, and endeavor to accurately portray the events of the day as they've been relayed.

Whether your talents lay with writing, sales, or otherwise, Weevil News has work for you! As our paper continues to grow, so too will our need for individuals to take up the mantle of ethical journalism. Please contact Mortimer Rivers in Valentine or by telegram to himself or "Weevil News" in order to inquire after our employment opportunities.